Sleepless

It's 12 midnight and i can not sleep i have tried drinking few beers its not helping. Oh shit what can I do? funny thing is i still wake up early no matter how late I go to bed. I could try sex at least it will wear me out but I am all alone. Well I do have my hands the left one I call it Victoria and the right hand I call it Mercy. I could just wank but it's not really my thing. Oh maybe I should just buy a pocket vagina very handy I am told, always available, no mood swings, anywhere, anyplace, anytime, plus no fake headaches. Anyone out there have a better suggestion? Let I Big will know.